Runaway Cinderella

Running from a perfect world, trying to find her wild side...

20080506

Hate That I Love You [[there's this boy...]]

DISCLAIMER: I'm not all depressed. Life is awesome right now. ONE WEEK before I get to quit my job and fly away to Cali. I'm just thoughtful.

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So there's this boy. And I think I love him. Or, actually, I love the idea of him. Strong, talented, and passionate, determined to live life while he can. He's respectful, humble, and treats girls like ladies and not sex objects. He's handsome but not arrogant and always has a genuine smile. He's from a strong family and he adores his parents, keeps them in his life. Dream boy? Yep. Of course, he also happens to be a rock star who, if I ever meet him, will hug me quickly, sign my poster, and pass me on to his brother without a second glance. That's not so dreamy.

But you know what's worse than your dream boy being hopelessly inaccessible? Having several dream boys within easy reach--and none of them want you. I know at least three guys who equal and exceed my description above. They're so perfect, so wonderful, so easy to love--and to fall in love with. They call me their friend and their little sister--but never their girl. They'll make sure I don't get involved with a bad boy--but they'll never be the good guy I need to be with.

It makes me think. Why? Am I inaccessible, intimidating like my mom once told me? Aloof or seemingly disinterested? I do have a habit of being a little mean to guys when I don't know how to act around them. Or could it be that dream guys like them don't want someone so removed from the girl of THEIR dreams? I mean, let's face it, I'm no one's dream girl. One of those internet "What Kind of Girlfriend Are You" quizzes gave me a Dream Girl result--but I think I lied on how I would react if he cheated on me. I won't list my flaws, but let's just say they're numerous and apparently noticeable enough to keep me at little sister status.

Having a dream boy (or 2 or 3) at your fingertips and not being his is, to me, worse than seeing him from a distance--almost worse than never having him at all. Because now, every guy other than these perfections of mankind will be settling. And I'm OK with that when I'm settling for a normal guy instead of Kevin Jonas the rock star. But it's hard to settle when the man you're comparing to is right next to you, approving of your choice.

And, oh man, these boys, these wonderful boys, they would hate themselves if they knew their "little sister" felt like this because of them. Cuz see, there's this boy, and I wish he knew.
So while I hope with all my MIND they'll never see this, never know it's all about them... I wish with all my HEART that they would.

3 Comments:

  • At May 6, 2008 at 9:41 PM , Blogger Tina said...

    first of all, kevin appreciates your thoughts, and he tells me to send his apologies that he is with me right now. secondly, you are MY dream girl, and i admire everything about you. and thirdly, i had the sister status, although ive never been in your situation. i always put boys in brother status to keep them away. these boys apparently arent so perfect if they can't realize what they are letting slip so easily through the cracks. no doubt, g.

     
  • At May 6, 2008 at 9:42 PM , Blogger Tina said...

    ps, that was me saying they need to cowboy up and holler at you.


    apparently i cant get away from ghetto fab talk to tell you what i mean. sorry.

     
  • At May 7, 2008 at 8:27 PM , Blogger Niki♥ said...

    Kat Kat Kat.

    Everything you said in there is both true and untrue.

    The dream boy--trust me, I know how you feel. Along with 198518814 other girls.

    As for you being the unofficial "little sister", that's bologna. Just because "that" boy hasn't come along yet, doesn't mean you are stressed to be the little sister forever. Honestly, Kat. I could not say enough good things about you. If I see, I'm pretty certain so does everyone else.

    ♥ Love youuu

     

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